Exercise on Style in Scientific Writing


This exercise requires that you identify the main stylistic problem in each excerpt. Given in Table 1 is a list of common stylistic errors that the excerpt may contain. Given in parentheses are page numbers in The Craft of Scientific Writing explaining each problem.

Table 1. List of Common Stylistic Errors
Non-parallel headings (37-40)
Weak transition into section (53)
Ambiguity from missing punctuation (94-96)
Ambiguity from pronoun (93-94)
Ambiguity from word order (92-93)
Needlessly complex words (84-85)
Needlessly complex noun phrase (85-86)
Needlessly complex sentence (86-90)
Lack of sentence variety (129-137)
Tone problem (97-101)


1:
Discharges of these hazardous substances occur through spills when loading vehicles, spills and over-spills when filling the tanks, leaks from supply pipes and pipe joints, rust holes and cracks in the seams of the tanks themselves.


2:
The design of the circuit is shown in Appendix A. The first schematic of the Appendix shows the interface of the EEPROM with the HC11. The decoder and the bit latch were also needed for this circuit. The decoder made sure that the EEPROM responded to address locations $6000 to $7FFF. The latch stored the address lines for the EEPROM when Port C on the EVBU switched from output address lines to input data lines. These integrated chips worked together to give the HC11 the expanded memory.


3:
Report Title: Loading Dock Boxcar Stop Viscous Damping Values


4:
Standalone Operation. This involved both hardware and software...


5:
The objective of this endeavor is to develop a commercialization strategy for solar energy systems by analyzing factors impeding early commercial projects (i.e., SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential actions that can facilitate the viability of the projects.


6:
It has come to my attention that your sport utility vehicles are not as technologically advanced as they could be! Microprocessors are more than just a booming technological buzzword; they are something that can be seamlessly implemented into existing vehicles and will add countless dimensions to their capabilities...These are of course tiny examples in a grander scheme of things that can be accomplished with microprocessors. There are much more useful and innovative things that could be done to improve both the mechanical and ergonomic aspects, which would put you light-years ahead of your closest competitors, all the while fattening your pockets...I enthusiastically look forward to meeting with you!


7:
Enormous mining companies are both continuing operations at old gold mines, such as the case of the Homestake Mine in Lead, South Dakota, which has operated continuously since 1877 and is continuing to increase its operations [Hinds and Trautman, 1983], and opening new gold mines, often in very disturbing locations, such as the proposed, and for now, postponed, New World Mine, whose proposed location was about 2.5 miles from the border of Yellowstone National Park, near Cooke City, Montana.


8:
Most people are diagnosed with phenylketonuria at birth.


9:
Since the invention of the catalytic converter, one problem that has baffled people involved with emission control is their lack of effectiveness in oxidizing CO and HC until the engine is warm.


10:
Procedures for Design. The procedures for this part of the laboratory began with the ASM command. This command was used to disassemble code. This disassembly began at the specified memory address. This command was useful in examining the code predefined by the Buffalo Disassembler. The "ASM" command was used at the start of address $E000. It listed the first three instructions at location $E000. Table 1 shows both the machine code and the disassembled code for these instructions.


11:
To provide spill protection all tanks were to include catchment basins and automatic shutoff devices or overfill alarms or ball float valves.


12:
Introduction

Background
Origin of Computer Viruses
Destruction by Computer Viruses
Example (Burleson Virus)
Barriers to Computer Viruses
Physical
Antiviral Barriers
Conclusions
Recommendations


13:
Each time we wired the hex display, we placed it in a different location on the bread board. Unfortunately, each time the hex display would show a different reading. The third time proved to be the charm as the hex display read all of the numbers correctly.


14:
Interfacing the Matrix Keyboard. Here, a 4x4 matrix keypad and TIL-311 hex display to be added to the hardware wired in the previous section.


15:
Report Title: Vertical Linear Actuators Position Measurement and Repeatability NIF Bottom Loading Insertion System Test Procedure


Last updated 6/00
Exercise Key
http://www.me.vt.edu/writing/handbook/exercises/exercise1.html